Watching for Distress

Learn to spot the warning signs of distress in your child and act early to get them the help they need.

Last updated 6 July 2026

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Watching for Signs of Distress in Children

When our children are going through distress, they send out warning signs through their behaviour, but do we know what to watch for? Are we catching the signals for help being sent out?

Being familiar with these distress signs will help us identify problems early. If these signs are present in combination, or in more extreme or long-lasting forms, it may be an indication that your child is experiencing significant distress. If in doubt, please seek help and advice from your child's School Counsellor or mental health professionals. If you suspect your child is at risk of suicide, get help immediately from SOS 1800 221 4444.

Also, find out more about how parents can talk about issues related to anxiety, distress and suicide. This article helps differentiate between stress, distress and depression.

Signs of distress

DISTRESS SIGNS		EXAMPLES THAT MAY INDICATE POSSIBLE MALADAPTIVE BEHAVIOUR
D	Displaying out-of character behaviour	Becoming quieter or more talkative than usual Giving away possessions Saying goodbye to loved ones Behaving strangely Talking and/or writing about things that do not make sense (including online behaviour) Complaints of unexplained pains
I	Injuries that are unexplained	Bruises, burns, cuts or scars on bodies Tendency to hurt self
S	Sudden changes in appearance, interests or habits	Neglecting personal appearance and/or well-being Unkempt appearance Poor hygiene Sleeping or eating too little or too much Sudden loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities Sudden loss of interest in studies
T	Temperamental changes	Becoming more irritable, agitated, moody, stressed or anxious than usual Expressions of worry, anxiety and/or fear
R	Rebellious/ aggressive behaviour	Display of defiant behaviour Unaccountable rage, anger and/or aggression Overly irritable or hostile Excessive smoking and/or drinking Drug abuse
E	Extended absence/ deliberate social withdrawal	Unexplained and repeated absence or truancy Declining to join social activities Becoming withdrawn and avoiding others Having a lack of social contact
S	Struggling to pay attention/ increased lethargy	Inattentiveness Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
S	Sending/ posting moody or morbid messages (including expressions of death)	Expressing frequent negative and/or illogical thoughts Expressing feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness, and/or perceived loss of control Threatening or expressing plans to hurt or kill themselves